Today I created the mandala for July. I arranged most of the
stuff I collected during my walks around the block on a blue board, and began
to systematically attach each piece. The bottom layer was a tattered advertisement
for July 4th sales, which I coated on both sides with matte medium.
On top of that, a brown square of Masonite from down the street. On top of that
a strip of black roofing shingle intersecting a slice of black rubber fan belt formed
a cross. I cleared out the holes my husband had already drilled in the board, punched
holes through the layers of slick paper with an awl, and ran tiny colored
telephone wires through to secure a wooden handled object (egg beater? kabob
skewer?). Then I warmed up my hot glue gun and attached bits of tar paper, snack
packages, a dental floss holder, sticks, a metal washer, cigarette package, and
a number of things I don’t know what they are. In the center: a small green slab
from a computer with soldered points like gemstones.
Continuing my reflection on “dependent arising” as I worked,
I made a discovery! Even though this loosely constructed object made of
unrelated fragments challenges the notion of “object”, parts of it still had to
be firmly attached in order for the piece
to take any form (even temporarily). The necessity for firm attachment, even in
this ephemeral object, gave me the “ah ha!” moment. I realized that firm
attachment does not negate the view that all things are empty of inherent
existence.
The aspiration to ”be free from attachment that holds some
close and others distant” has led me to be a bit wary of intimate connections
with people, I now realize. Deep emotional attachments are subject to the same realities
of dependent arising as everything else, of course. Nonetheless, such
attachments are necessary for families and friendships to survive and thrive. Knowing
that these attachments are appropriate when life calls for them frees me to
care deeply for the ones I love in this lifetime.
